How to Be Magnetic
Your internal and external glow-up guide.
Last month, I sat down with Grace Beverley for her podcast to talk about something the internet loves to oversimplify: the glow-up.
You know the content I’m talking about. Green juices. Lemon water. A perfectly curated morning routine that somehow fits into 47 seconds on TikTok.
And look — I love all of those things. But if we’re being honest? That’s little girl advice.
A real glow-up isn’t just about celery juice and matcha lattes. It’s about becoming someone you’re genuinely proud of — internally and externally. It’s about discipline, boundaries, self-worth, and structure working together.
We covered everything from imposter syndrome to grief, risk-taking to boundaries, mindset to skincare, and why most glow-up advice is keeping you stuck. I’m pulling out three key points here, but honestly? There’s so much more in the full conversation.
Watch or listen to the full episode:
What Does It Mean to Be Magnetic?
Before we get into the how, let’s define what we’re actually talking about.
Being magnetic isn’t about being loud or constantly “on.” It’s about having a presence that draws people in — not because you’re performing, but because you’re genuinely anchored in who you are.
A magnetic person has:
Internal strength — mindset, mental health, resilience, confidence, self-trust
External polish — yes, how you present yourself matters
Boundaries — they protect their energy and don’t shrink themselves for others
Clarity — they know what they want and move accordingly
Your external appearance can get your foot in the door. But your internal strength is what keeps you there.
1. Grief, Urgency, and Building Resilience
Let me be straight with you: a lot of people aren’t glowing up because they’re not desperate enough.
I don’t mean that in a toxic hustle-culture way. I mean you need to genuinely want it. You need to be so uncomfortable with where you are that staying the same isn’t an option.
When I was working in the NHS in my early 20s, I was miserable. I was depressed — I hated my life. And that discomfort became the fuel that pushed me into action.
But here’s what genuinely changed everything for me: grief taught me urgency.
A few years ago, I lost my sibling suddenly. And grief doesn’t just break you — it rewires your brain chemistry forever. It makes you realize that life isn’t guaranteed. That waiting until you’re 30, or 40, or “when things settle down” isn’t an option.
When you go through something that life shattering, you have two choices: let it defeat you, or let it shape your story.
I chose the latter. I decided that if I could survive hell and come out the other side, there’s nothing I can’t handle. That’s where real confidence comes from — not from affirmations or vision boards, but from knowing you’ve been tested and you’re still standing.
An exercise I genuinely recommend:
Go to a cemetery. Spend time there. Look at the tombstones. You’ll see people your age. People younger than you. People who probably thought they had more time.
It sounds morbid, but it’s sobering. It puts life into perspective in a way that no motivational podcast ever will.
Building Resilience:
If you’re going through something hard right now, or if you want to build mental toughness before life tests you, I highly recommend Becoming Bulletproof by Evy Poumpouras. It’s one of those books that quietly shifts how you approach challenges, fear, and self-trust.
The takeaway: Do it now. Not next year. Now. Life is too short to wait for permission or the “right time.”
For more on how grief shaped my confidence and why urgency matters, listen to the full conversation with Grace.
2. Risk-Taking and Reframing What “Risk” Actually Means
Let’s talk about risk-taking — because this is where a lot of people get stuck.
Here’s the truth: most of what we see as “risk” isn’t actually risky.
If you’re reading this, if you have access to the internet, if you’re even thinking about glowing up or leveling up your life, you’re probably not on the poverty line. You’re privileged in the context of about 8.3 billion people on Planet Earth. And that means the risks you think you’re taking aren’t as high-stakes as you think they are.
When I was deciding whether to leave my NHS career, I asked myself: What’s the worst that could happen?
The answer? I’d have to go back to a job I didn’t like. But I’d still have a roof over my head. I’d still be able to pay my bills. I’d still be fine.
That’s not risk. That’s discomfort.
And here’s how you mitigate even that discomfort: don’t quit your job to chase your dream. Work on both simultaneously.
Challenge your perception of risk:
Ask yourself honestly: Is this actually risky, or am I just uncomfortable?
Most of the time, it’s the latter. And discomfort is where growth happens.
Another thing: increase your surface area for luck. You get “lucky” by putting yourself out there, taking opportunities, saying yes to things that stretch you, and exposing yourself to challenges. Luck isn’t random — it’s the result of consistent action.
The takeaway: Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Mitigate risk strategically, but don’t let fear of discomfort keep you stuck.
Grace and I dive deep into this topic in the podcast — including why men don’t talk about imposter syndrome and what we can learn from that.
3. Mindset, Boundaries, and Protecting Your Energy
This is the part people don’t want to hear, but it’s the most important.
You can have the best skincare routine, the perfect wardrobe, the most expensive treatments — and you’ll still feel like crap if your mindset is broken.
I’ve had weekly therapy since my mid-20s. It changed my life. Not because I was “broken,” but because I was committed to understanding myself, my patterns, and my conditioning.
Therapy. Self-development books. YouTube. Podcasts. There are so many resources now. There’s no excuse.
If you struggle with discipline, if you can’t commit to goals, if you’re constantly self-sabotaging — the problem isn’t your willpower. It’s your mindset.
Start there. Everything else flows from that.
Boundaries: The Non-Negotiable
Boundaries will save your life. And I mean that.
Boundaries aren’t rude. They’re not cold. They’re not “being difficult.” Boundaries are how you protect your energy, preserve your peace, and keep people who don’t mean well at a distance.
One specific boundary I want to talk about: oversharing.
Some of you talk too much. I’m sorry, but it’s true.
There’s a time and place for deep conversations. Reserve that for your best friends, your therapist, people you trust. Not your coworkers. Not acquaintances. Not people who are still proving themselves to you.
Oversharing doesn’t create connection — it creates vulnerability that people can exploit.
Here’s the rule: If you’re tempted to overshare, journal it. Call your best friend. Or better yet, pay someone to listen — get a therapist.
And remember: you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Practice this week: Say no to something without explaining why. Just “no.” Notice how it feels. Notice how freeing it is.
Curate Your Environment
Your environment normalizes behavior — good or bad. This includes your physical space and your digital space.
I don’t watch the news daily. I know that sounds controversial, but hear me out: if there’s something I genuinely need to know, it will find me. Consuming negative, anxiety-inducing content every single day destroys your nervous system.
Curate your newsfeed like your life depends on it. Follow entrepreneurs if you’re building a business. Follow self-care accounts to balance the hustle. Unfollow people who make you feel like you’re in constant competition or behind.
Grace and I talk extensively about imposter syndrome, people-pleasing, and why women need to get comfortable with being disliked in the full episode. It’s worth the listen.
The External Glow-Up: It Matters, But It’s Not Everything
Let’s be real: the external matters.
I’m not going to gaslight you and say it doesn’t. Your appearance opens doors. It gets you noticed. It gets you opportunities.
But here’s the thing: what’s the point of looking so good if you don’t know how to harness it?
What’s the point of being attractive if you can’t hold a conversation? If you don’t have confidence? If you shrink yourself in rooms where you should be taking up space?
The external is the appetizer. The internal is the main course.
That said, if something about your physical appearance genuinely bothers you — address it.
Invest in facials. Invest in a new wardrobe. Invest in a personal trainer. Invest in treatments, even surgery if that’s what feels right for you.
Do it from a healthy, empowered place. But don’t be ashamed of wanting to look good. Just make sure you’re building the internal foundation at the same time.
In the podcast, I share exactly what injectables I’ve had, my thoughts on skin boosters vs. fillers, and my experience getting treatments in Korea. If you’re curious about the aesthetic side of glowing up, that section is gold.
My Current Skincare & Beauty Favorites
Since we’re talking about external glow-ups, here’s what I’m currently using and loving. These are the exact products I mentioned to Grace during our conversation
:
Skincare:
Allies of Skin Founders Essence — Glass skin in a bottle (limited edition)
Medik8 Liquid Peptides Advanced MP Serum — Compliments every single time
Numbuzin Pore Zero Peeled Egg Toner Pad — Korea favorite, gentle exfoliation
Cell Fusion C Aquatic Cooling Sunscreen SPF 50+ — Holy grail, no white cast
Shani Darden Signature Nourishing Facial Mask — Hydration + pore care
Obagi Tretinoin 0.5% — Anti-aging non-negotiable
Body Care:
May Lindstrom Good Stuff Body and Hair Radiance Oil — Luxury in a bottle
Makeup:
Danessa Myricks Liquid Blurring Balm — Best makeup invention of the decade
Charlotte Tilbury Flawless Finish Powder — Airbrushed skin, zero pores
Le Chouchou Lip Balm (from EADEM) — Daily go-to
Fragrance:
Madame Gray Perfume — $1,100 and worth every penny
I always tag what I wear and use across my content — whether it’s skincare, fashion, or lifestyle. If you want to stay updated on everything I’m loving, make sure you’re following along on Instagram and checking my ShopMy page.
If you want the full conversation — and trust me, there’s so much more we covered — watch or listen to the episode:
Here’s to becoming the woman you’ve always wanted to be — not overnight, but intentionally.
Lots of love 🤍
Well summarised, definitely leaves me hungry for the full podcast convo! Loved this